MY POEMS
YA YA - IT'S LOVE
YA YA – HE’S IN LOVE, SHE’S IN LOVE
WE’RE ALL IN LOVE FOR AWHILE
BY THE TIME WE WE’RE IN OUR 50’S
WE’VE ALL GOT A PILE
OF OLD LOVES, NEW LOVES, ROTTEN LOW AND SICK LOVES
FORGOTTEN SOME, CAN’T REMEMBER THE NAMES OF A FEW
THE ONLY THING WE’VE LEARNED IS-
TRUE LOVE ISN’T TRUE
THE EXCITEMENT IN THE BEGINNING
THE CHASE AND THEN THE CAPTURE
IS LIKE A ROMANTIC SONG UNDER THE STARS IN RAPTURE
YOU LIVE AND BREATH THOUGHTS OF YOUR NEW LOVE
SOONER THAN YOU THINK
YOU’LL RUN FOR COVER
BECAUSE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE
YOU JUST FOUND OUT
HAS A HUSBAND OR A WIFE
OR A SECRET OTHER LOVER
YA YA, WE’RE ALL IN LOVE
IT ALL FITS SO NICE
WE FEEL LIKE GLOVES
ROMANCE AND MUSH-
WE ALL KNOW HOW IT FEELS
UNTIL IT TURNS TO RUST
AND YOUR HEART IT STEALS
SO WE START AGAIN OR MAYBE JUST DON’T CARE
SO MANY TIMES FALLING IN LOVE JUST ISN’T FAIR!
DEATH
DEATH IS INEVITABLE, FINAL AND COLD
IT CAN BE UNEXPECTED, PLANNED, SOMETIMES A BLESSING
I WONDER UP IN HEAVEN IF YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE OR SOME PLACES YOU’RE TRESPASSING
NONE OF US WILL AVOID IT, GET OUT OF IT-LIVE FOREVER
ALL OF US WILL FEEL THE SORROW OF A LOVED ONES DEATH
SOME OF US WILL BE LUCKY TO BE WITH WHEN THEY DRAW THEIR LAST BREATH
MOST CANNOT IMAGINE LOSING A CHILD-SOME OF EXPERIENCED THIS GREATEST LOSS
AND THEN WE WONDER HOW TO BELIEVE IN THE “HIGHER POWER, THE SACRED CROSS”
WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE-MOST DO NOT KNOW WHEN THEIR TIMES UP
WE ALL NEED TO GRIEVE AND THEN LET IT GO
LIFE IS SHORT, WE NEED TO LIVE AND ALWAYS GROW
BIRTH & DEATH ARE VERY SIMILAR, BOTH ENTER INTO A NEW STATE
I WONDER FROM DEATH WHEN WE ENTER WILL WE THINK IT’S GREAT
WE ALL MUST CELEBRATE OUR LOVED ONES LIFE
GRIEVE FOR NOT TO LONG
HOLD A LIVING WAKE
TO SAY GOODBYE AND SHARE SOME CAKE
EXCHANGE SOME WISDOM’S FOR HEAVENS SAKE
COME ONE DAY WE WILL ALL EXPIRE
LET US HOPE THEN WE’LL OF BUILT AN EMPIRE
OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
HOW COULD I HAVE FALLEN FOR ANOTHER MAN WITH BOOZE
ON HIS BREATH, IN HIS VEINS AND ALWAYS ON HIS MIND
DOOMED IS MY RELATIONSHIP & I AM SINKING FAST
I KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING OUR TIME
TOGETHER WOULD NEVER LAST
I TRY TO REASON, I TRY TO MUCH
I TRY AND TRY AND THEN I CRY
I’M TIRED OFGUESSING ALL THE REASONS WHY
HE CAN NEVER QUIT FOR MORE THEN A MONTH OR TWO
HIS BEHAVIOR IS OUT OF CONTROL
DECISIONS HE MAKES ARE FAR FROM WISE
ALANON WILL HELP ME TO NOT CHOOSE ANOTHER OF THESE GUYS
I GO TO MEETINGS TO HELP MYSELF OUT OF THIS SICK LIFE
I GO TO ALANON TO KEEP MYSELF
FROM BECOMING ANOTHER DRUNKS WIFE
I GO TO MEETINGS TO HELP ME GET BACK MY SELF ESTEEM
I GO TO ALANON SO I CAN ACHIEVE ALL MY DREAMS
YOU CAN GET INTO ALANON AND THEN ALANON GETS INTO YOU
WITHOUT THIS PROGRAM YOU COULD GO NUTS
ONE DAY AT A TIME, TO BE STRONG TAKES GUTS
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE SO GET OUT OF YOUR RUT
DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, GET OFF YOUR BUTT
ALANON ESTEEM
DAUGHTER
Where did she go? My sweet cuddly little girl
She use to call mommy from her crib and follow me from room to room
Now at fifteen she orders me out
Oh and knock before you enter
I use to be her mom that was the center of her world
At fifteen she will not listen to any of my words
I lost my little girl just a couple years ago
It still feels like I was hit with a hard left blow
Where did my sweet cuddly curly haired little baby girl go?
She grew up into a teenager
With a great big mind all of her own
If she is not on the computer then she has to be on her phone
The only thing she wants of me now is to leave her alone
Just the other day she told me I use to be coo
And not too long ago I would lay with her to take a nap
I must just accept this big empty gap
She use to be my sweet cuddly baby girl
The one who wrapped her arms around my neck
And gave me a kiss that you could hear the smack
I miss her
But mothers know they come back after life slaps them about
They experience heartbreak and wonderment
That life can truly give
They come back and wrap their elegant arms around your neck and whisper
I love you mommy, I love you, thank you for being my mommy
Now she is a mommy and made me a glammy
The joy it brought you would think I won a grammy
Thank You Daughter 4 coming back with Hailee
You two bring such blessings to my life daily.
3/23/03 75th academy awards
10/1/11 added on.
A TRIP TO MINNESOTA
I AM ANTISIPATING THE JOURNEY,
THAT CAR RIDE TO VISIT DAD
EXCITING & LOOKING FORWARD BUT I KNOW TO REMAIN COMPOSED
I THINK MORE ABOUT THE TIME TO GO-
THAT MOMENT OF SAYING GOOD-BYE
I GET STRONGER WITH AGE, I THINK I CAN SAY IT WITHOUT TEARS
I’LL WONDER THEN IF IT WILL BE OUR LAST-
IT IS DEFINATELY ONE OF MY FEARS
YOU SEE I’VE LIVED MOST OF MY LIFE MISSING
ALL YOU DID’NT KNOW HOW TO GIVE
I REMEMBER ROSE LAKE, AT GRAMMA’S CABIN,
I WAS JUST A LITTLE GIRL
I REMEMBER HOW YOU LAUGHED WHEN I SAID,
“I’M SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR”
I REMEMBER THE COLDNESS IN YOUR WORDS
WHEN YOU SPOKE ABOUT OUR MOTHER
I CAN RECOLLECT THE KNIFE FIGHT AT GRAMMA’S
IN THE DRIVE WITH YOUR OLDER BROTHER
BELIEVE IT OR NOT! I THINK YOU’D BE PROUD,
TO KNOW ME, WHO I REALLY AM
I HAVE COME A LONG WAY FROM THAT MIXED UP LITTLE GIRL
WHO HAD NO SELF ESTEEM
I AM FUNNY & SMART, I BELIEVE IN MY DREAMS
I STICK TO MY WORD, HOLD NO PREDJUDUCE
AND I CAN COOK A PRETTY GOOD DINNER
NO MATTER HOW MANY MILES or YEARS THAT SCURRY BY
I KNOW THAT JUST MERE THOUGHTS OF YOU WILL ALWAYS MAKE ME CRY
WE PROBABLY WILL NEVER GET TO SAY ALL THE WORDS
AND I KNOW IT WILL BE QUITE DIFFICULT TO SAY GOODBYE
BUT YOUR GRANDKIDS & I WILL MAKE THE JOURNEY
AND HOPEFULLY THEY MIGHT GET TO KNOW
THEIR DISTANT GRANDPA, THE ONE WITH THE PLANE
THE RETIRED MAILMAN EVERYONE CALLS JOE
He Sleeps Alone
HE SLEEPS ALONE EVERY NIGHT IN HIS EASY CHAIR
AND HE IS RARELY EVER HOME
HE HAS BEEN RUNNING EVER SINCE HE WAS A LITTLE BOY
AND THE WOMAN HE LIVES WITH HAS NOT ONE CLUE
WHO HE IS
WHERE HE HAS BEEN
LET ALONE WHAT HE NEEDS
HE JUST NEVER TOOK THE TIMETO TEND TO HIS HEART
HIS ONLY CHILD HAS BEEN HIS WHOLE LIFE
HE BARELY EVER TALKS TO HIS WIFE
WORK AND FRIENDS FILL HIS LIFE UNTIL HIS BABY GIRL IS GROWN
AND EVERY NIGHT IN HIS EASY CHAIR HE ALWAYS SLEEPS ALONE
YEARS SLIPPED BY AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE
SHE BLASTED INTO HIS HEART
AND BEGAN TO TOUCH HIS SOUL
AND NOW EACH NIGHT THOUGHTS OF HER DANCE OUT OF CONTROL
HE NEVER THOUGHT OR DREAMT HE WOULD FALL IN LOVE SO DEEP
NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HE TRIES NOT TO
HE KNOWS IN HIS HEAD THIS WOMAN
HE MUST KEEP CLOSE TO HIS HEART,
TOUCHING HIS SKIN BELIEVING IN HIM
EVERY NIGHT IN HIS EASY CHAIR
HE WONDERS WHY THIS IS SO UNFAIR
HE KNOWS THAT A LIFE WITH HER HE MUST SHARE
NO MATTER TO WHOM IT MIGHT BE UNFAIR
9/4/01
A MOTHER'S DENIAL
Denial and selfish behavior has taken over her body and soul
It shows up in all her relationships and turned her heart to coal
No one gets to close-
Affection and love is no where in her heart
Because blocking loves emotions was learned behavior from the start
She built a wall to enclose her feelings
And lived most of her life with no affection receiving
2nd husband was a man she was in love with-NOT
That sacrifice in itself backfired a lot!
The last years of her marriage was filled with hatred towards each other
And since he passed away those feelings have transferred towards her daughters
Feelings of despair and self-loathing took over her whole life
Obsessed with food became her reason for living and caused constant strife
She could never acknowledge pain of being molested by her father
She let if fester inside her body and it destroyed her as a mother
Her 4 daughters became the target of her “Cut Downs” about each other
And towards the end it all came back upon her Her daily existence became lonely and sad
Most of this mess started with “THE SECRET”Buried about her DAD
In revenge, she stole the 4 daughters away from their father
And she painted him evil Never would she give him forgiven retrieval
She must punish herself to the point of demolition and despair
The daughters often wonder why she seems to just not care
About their lives, who they have become- How their passions have sculptured their worlds
Selfish and self-absorbed are the words chosen to describe
When alone I am sure, each daughter finds it difficult to understand
How a Woman, a Sister and Daughter can let a man
Rob her self worth and most of her joy
The sadness and the hurt she carries inside has crippled her soul
Each of us at times I am sure feels sad
I find it ironic-These 5 women all have issues about the first man in their life
Causing many heartaches in adulthood and becoming wives
When you deny-and lie to yourself and the ones you hold dear
And you refuse to face your demons and slay them once and for all
“Then all you will get is what you give” and the choices that you made
Will either rob or give you peace and joy
It is really all a trade
So to my dear mother, I want to say I am truly sorry for all of your pain
Especially any I have caused but my feelings still remain
Of loss – We all lose in all our own ways
We have all paid for sins denied
Owning and acknowledging the grief is the only way to the release
And hopefully in the end all involved will find peace!
5-13-07 Mothers Day